Went to our rec center for a bike auction and rodeo. Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking. Stayed for about 15 minutes. Said hello to some friends and left. I must say that this was one of the most boring things I ever decided to do.
Tomorrow is the last day of my staycation before I head back to the hell hole. Wonder what my desk looks like. I really don't have to wonder. I know what it looks like. It looks like every other time I go on vacation. My boss will swear that it was sooo busy. Correction, he was sooo busy. I know I should be nice. He was busy telling people to just put the paperwork on my desk and she'll take care of it when she gets back on Tuesday. Oh the bitterness.
Today is the fifth year of my moms passing. It doesn't seems like five years. It was Memorial Day 2004. She basically gave up after my brother died in 2001. She just sat in her chair and lost all muscle tone in her legs. She then fell and ended up in the rehab center. She ended up liking rehab center. She was surrounded by people and made many friends. I think because she liked it so much, she didn't put the effort into the rehab portion.
Many months passed and she still couldn't walk on her own. Many fights happened over this. Then on Valentine's Day in 2004, my Aunt Mae, my moms best friend, was hit and killed instantly by a drunk driver while vacationing in Maine. This sent my mom into a depressive state. Then the health issues started. She once spent 30 days in ICU. There were many hospital stays after that. She finally gave up the fight on May 31 at 10:30 PM.
Anyone who has lost someone knows all the paperwork that happens next. My favorite story was when I stopped at the Social Security Office to inform them of her passing. They informed me that she was not entitled to the check for the month of May. I asked them why? They told me 'because she wasn't alive the entire month.' You have to be kidding me. She was alive all but an hour and a half of the month and she's not entitled to that check. Yup. Unbelievable.
So now I am an orphan of sorts. I have no immediate family. I do have good friends that I cherish. What I have learned through all of this is this. Get mad a family and friends, but never stop talking to them. You never know when they will be gone. Live every moment to the fullest. You never know when that moment will be gone forever. Live is too short. Make the most of it.
We are experiencing a small thunder shower. My baby and Ralphy are almost huddled together. Neither one was afraid of thunder before. I don't understand why they are now. My 17 pound big boy is a wimp. He is crying and shaking with fear. I have tried to comfort him, but he is really freaked out.
Anyway, I don't know why the mood. I think it's time for me to go and live my wise words.
3 comments:
Been feeling down myself. Don't know why. But I hadn't realized it was your mom's anniversary. I might have come over, and we could have either comforted one another or just been miserable together. Well - maybe it was better not to do that.
Today started with rain. Let's hope it improves and you get to go out and enjoy it.
My girlfriend just lost her 93 year old mom and is having a very hard time dealing with it. I fear the day when I won't have my mom around. She is so much a part of my life again. It sounds like your mom had a very hard life towards the end. I'm so sorry, Lisa. I know you must be missing her. Thank you for this very meaningful post.
Stormy weather can make one feel nostalgic Lisa. I am so sorry about your Mother but I can see so clearly how the loss of her friend and her son could initiate such a downward spiral.
I guess most of us will end up orphans if we live long enough. My mother is still alive of course and a breast cancer survivor but I've only seen her for about five days in as many years as she lives about 3,000 kms away and neither of us manages to visit very often.
You have pricked my conscience about my sister though. I shall make the 50 km round trip to visit her today. She is in hospital, has been in hospital for about a month and has another month to go - she is schizophrenic so it is more like a convalescent home - lots of drugged up people sleeping most of the time. Surprisingly, it is not a depressing place.
My male cat hates thunder too - hides under our bed. The female cats seem to be fine and my little boy is beginning to lose his fear with my constant reassurance that everything is ok!
Post a Comment